“Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! All persons are commanded to keep silence, on pain of imprisonment,” the Senate sergeant-at-arms cries out at the start of each day of the impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump.
And they can’t drown their silent sorrows in coffee, either. The only beverages allowed on the Senate floor, during the impeachment trial or any other time, are milk and water.
No talking allowed
Harsh! Senators acting as jurors-judges in the trial can’t make a peep — or it’s slammer time.
The Senate has been governed by this arcane, draconian rule since the impeachment trial of President Andrew Johnson in 1868.
And don’t think about calling a bail bondsman, either. No cellphones allowed.
Well, then, how about email? Sorry, no electronic devices of any kind are permitted in the august chamber.
However, senators are allowed handwritten notes conveyed in and out of the Senate by a single staffer.
Welcome to 1868.
Finding ways around the rules
But some rebel senators have found loopholes, according to ABC News’ Serena Marshall who joined Lee Lonsberry on his show “Live Mic.”
She reported that these mutineers are playing “paper games and crossword puzzles underneath briefing documents.”
The senators slogged through 13 hours of debate on day one, so they’re feeling a tad burned out.
Oh, sorry, no caffeine on the Senate floor. It’s a real rule.
Beverage choices: milk and water only
So what can a parched senator drink during the impeachment thing?
Milk* and water — that’s it. Which is enough to make a hardened senator shed real tears.
(According to Marshall, milk and water are the only beverage options on the Senate floor at all other times as well, so it’s not just an impeachment thing.)
Sniff, sniff, Kleenex is NOT allowed on the Senate floor — use your sleeve or a gentleman’s handkerchief, sir.
That’s enough to make a proud federal lawmaker get up and walk out. Good riddance!
Sit down. All senators must remain seated.
Thems the rules.
Have a tall glass of milk, sir, you’ll feel better.
*The milk option dates to a 1966 hearing when then-Senate Minority Leader Everett Dirksen (R-Ill.), requested a “tall glass of milk” for “lunch.”
Today’s Top Stories
- Man in his 30s dead after drowning in a hot tub
- Treatment center, Turn-About Ranch, responds with statement
- Gamer Grandma: Meet 90-year-old Hamako Mori, the world’s oldest gamer on YouTube
- Police searching for man accused of stealing ducklings from ponds
- Heart of Utah: Two Navy doctors from Utah describe pandemic service
- Coyote sighting reported at the University of Utah campus
- Utah parents want vape tax
- Lynda Carter offers wonderful performance at FanX
- Lee parts ways with President over who killed Saudi journalist
- Sen. Mike Lee: Trump is not guilty