The Newport Police Department put out a notice on Facebook urging residents to stop making emergency calls due to a toilet paper shortage.
“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the police wrote. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”
Toilet paper is unavailable at many stores and supermarkets as people across the US stock up on household essentials due to fears over the coronavirus outbreak. Many sellers on Amazon are also out of stock.
The police offered up some humorous, friendly tips for those that are dealing with the shortage.
“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra-plush two-ply citrus-scented tissue,” the police wrote.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in saltwater. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in saltwater. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of saltwater available. Seashells were also used.”
The police also suggested using receipt papers, newspapers, cloth rags, and even an empty toilet paper roll.
“Be resourceful,” police wrote. “Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
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