DAVE & DUJANOVIC

Dave & Dujanovic: Talking to your LGBTQ+ child

Jun 17, 2021, 5:14 PM | Updated: Jun 18, 2021, 10:58 am

LGBTQ child...

A hand holds a heart painted like a LGBT flag, silhouetted against sun. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

SALT LAKE CITY — A growing number of Americans are starting to publically identify as LGBTQ+. A recent Gallup poll found a 5.6% increase in those who subscribe as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. That is percentage is up 4.5% from when the last poll was conducted in 2017. 

The Gallup poll also discovered younger generations primarily make up the LGBTQ+ spike. About 15.9% of people born between 1997-2002 (also referred to as Generation Z) identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Despite the increase in LGBTQ+ folks, mental health issues remain prevalent, especially among young populations. 

Dr. CJ Powers, the director of Psychology Training at Huntsman Mental Health Institute, joined Debbie Dujanovic and guest host Ethan Millard, also a host of the KSL Nightside Project, to discuss mental health, suicide and LGBTQ+ youth in Utah.

Sexual identity

As more young adults begin to realize their sexual orientation, parents are a vital part of ensuring their kids feel accepted and seen. 

“I want to talk about the mental health component,” Debbie said. “When it comes to our kids and those who are gay, and still keeping it a secret, give us a picture of what is it doing to them. If they don’t feel like they can tell Mom and Dad? If they don’t feel feel like they can tell a friend?”

And the problem is more common than expected. 

“It’s really tough,” Dr. Powers said. “Our sexual identity is a core part of our identity. And so, when kids are struggling to come out or live congruently with what they’re feeling inside, it creates a tremendous amount of stress. And then if they haven’t come out to their friends, there’s no place for that, for them to get support.”

Suicide

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among LGBTQ+ youth ages 10-24, according to the Trevor Project. In Utah, LGBTQ+ youth are 8.5 times more likely to attempt suicide if their parents reject their identity. 

“We know that suicide is a big problem among youth in this state. Do we have any data, or are you able to kind of detect how many of those suicides are directly related to this dynamic of being young, in Utah being gay and feeling like you have no real future,” explained Dr. Powers. 

“Youth who are with a minority sexual identity and feel rejected in that identity have about an eight to 10 times higher rate of attempted suicides — similar in terms of rates of depression and substance abuse. Just risky behaviors, generally.” 

Talking to your LGBTQ+ child

Navigating the conversations with LGBTQ+ can be difficult. But having those crucial conversations can be critical to their mental health and stability. 

“What advice would you give a parent — and let’s say it’s a parent who’s always viewed the gay community with hostility and suspicion, generally anti- in their overviews. They discover that they have a child who’s gay. What do they need to think about right now?” Ethan asked.

“When I work with families who are struggling to come to terms with their child coming out,” Dr. Powers said, “it is not the parents — it’s not that they don’t love their son or their daughter, they love them very much.

“Often it’s kind of fear or grief: ‘We thought they’re gonna have children and all these other things or it conflicts with our religious beliefs and what we’ve been told is right. So it’s often not a lacking in love, it’s lacking in early understanding.

“I think helping those families through that, making sure that they are communicating to their child — ‘Hey, we’re struggling with this, and we love you’  — so they don’t have to just embrace it if it’s not genuine, but then do the work to learn to truly educate yourself,” Dr. Powers said.

‘Are you gay?’

“Dr. Powers, I’m gonna ask you something,” Debbie said. “Occasionally, I’m known for being blunt. Is it OK as a parent to sit your child down and just point-blank ask them, ‘Are you gay?’ Is that the way to go about it?”

“I would generally discourage that,” Dr. Powers said. “Well, it depends on the parents’ intention, but I think often the child is going to feel very put on the spot if they’re not ready to share that. It would feel very threatening.”

“How do we ask the question so we can make sure our kids know we love them?” Debbie asked.

“I think that the best thing to do if you’re suspecting is demonstrate that you are either affirmative toward your own beliefs about homosexuality or you’re willing to look into it and get yourself educated about it,” Dr. Powers said. “You’re showing them, hey, if you are gay, I’m going to love you and accept you anyway . . . creating a safe space where they can come out.

“When they’re ready to, they will  or maybe they’re still figuring it out themselves. Some people kind of know pretty early on, they’re gay; other people, it takes a while,” he said.

Dave & Dujanovic can be heard weekdays from 9 a.m. to noon. on KSL NewsRadio. Users can find the show on the KSL NewsRadio website and app, a.s well as Apple Podcasts and Google Play. 

We want to hear from you.

Have a story idea or tip? Send it to the KSL NewsRadio team here.

Today’s Top Stories

Dave & Dujanovic

Guests look over items during the opening of Tabitha’s Way Local Food Pantry in American Fork on ...

Mark Jones

Tabitha’s Way: Food pantry lending help to those in need

The co-founders of Tabitha's Way in Utah County joined Dave & Dujanovic on Thursday to discuss how their food pantry works and where they get their food.

11 months ago

debt...

Curt Gresseth

Ticktock: US steps closer to debt default

Robert Spendlove, senior vice president and economic and public policy officer at Zions Bank, joins the show to discuss what would happen if the federal government defaults on its debt.

11 months ago

FILE - Rep. George Santos, R-N.Y., leaves a House GOP conference meeting on Capitol Hill in Washing...

Mark Jones

Legal expert weighs in on the future of Rep. George Santos

KSL Legal Analyst Greg Skordas joined Dave & Dujanovic to discuss the future of New York Rep. George Santos, who was indicted on 13 federal charges on Wednesday.

11 months ago

social media posts...

Devin Oldroyd

What is law enforcement’s role in monitoring social media posts?

An alleged gunman who killed eight in Texas left behind alarming social media posts. should law enforcement have seen this tragedy coming?

11 months ago

Sprinklers water a lawn in Salt Lake City on Friday, May 7, 2021. (Spenser Heaps, Deseret News)...

Curt Gresseth

Are you eligible for a landscape rebate?

Only 35 of Utah’s 329 cities qualify for the landscape rebate, which pays homeowners $3 per square foot to rip out their thirsty lawns. Cynthia Bee of the Jordan Valley Water Conservancy District joins the show to discuss the statewide program.

11 months ago

riverbanks...

Curt Gresseth

Riverbanks are scary unstable now, so stay back, warns safety expert

Jason Curry, director of the Utah Division of Outdoor Recreation, joins the show to talk about how dangerous not only the raging rivers are now but also the banks can be deadly unstable, too.

11 months ago

Sponsored Articles

close up of rose marvel saliva blooms in purple...

Shannon Cavalero

Drought Tolerant Perennials for Utah

The best drought tolerant plants for Utah can handle high elevations, alkaline soils, excessive exposure to wind, and use of secondary water.

Group of cheerful team members high fiving each other...

Visit Bear Lake

How To Plan a Business Retreat in Bear Lake This Spring

Are you wondering how to plan a business retreat this spring? Read our sample itinerary to plan a team getaway to Bear Lake.

Cheerful young woman writing an assignment while sitting at desk between two classmates during clas...

BYU EMBA at the Marriott School of Business

Hear it Firsthand: 6 Students Share Their Executive MBA Experience at BYU’s Marriott School of Business

The Executive MBA program at BYU offers great opportunities. Hear experiences straight from students enrolled in the program.

Skier being towed by a rider on a horse. Skijoring....

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

Looking for a New Winter Activity? Try Skijoring in Bear Lake

Skijoring is when someone on skis is pulled by a horse, dog, animal, or motor vehicle. The driver leads the skiers through an obstacle course over jumps, hoops, and gates.

Banner with Cervical Cancer Awareness Realistic Ribbon...

Intermountain Health

Five Common Causes of Cervical Cancer – and What You Can Do to Lower Your Risk

January is National Cervical Cancer Awareness month and cancer experts at Intermountain Health are working to educate women about cervical cancer.

Kid holding a cisco fish at winterfest...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

Get Ready for Fun at the 2023 Bear Lake Monster Winterfest

The Bear Lake Monster Winterfest is an annual weekend event jam-packed full of fun activities the whole family can enjoy.

Dave & Dujanovic: Talking to your LGBTQ+ child