JEFF CAPLAN

My Minute of News: A poem for nameless Salt Lake City snowplows

Dec 8, 2021, 1:10 PM | Updated: 1:41 pm
10 of Salt Lake City Streets Division's snowplows remain nameless. The public has a chance to chang...
10 of Salt Lake City Streets Division's snowplows remain nameless. The public has a chance to change that. Photo: Canva
This is an editorial piece. An editorial, like a news article, is based on fact but also shares opinions. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and are not associated with our newsroom.
 
SALT LAKE CITY — Ten of the Salt Lake City Streets Divison’s snowplows are nameless. This year, the public has the chance to change that.

Naming SLC snowplows

Snowplows are the unsung heroes of the winter season. Each year snowplows clear nearly 2,000 lane miles of roadway. This year, Salt Lake City Streets Division is on a mission to honor the men, no… the myths, no… the machines!

The division has opened a poll until Tuesday, Dec. 14 where Utahns can vote on their 10 favorite names in each category. The 10 names with the most votes will become the official names of the snowplows in Salt lake City’s fleet.

A poem for nameless snowplows, by Jeff Caplan

While we wait for snow to blanket the region…

ushering in the Christmastime season
The men with their snowplows are gassed up to go,
But what do we call the trucks pushing snow?
 
Nameless! these vehicles move oh so slow…
But Salt Lake officials say the answer is no.
They’ll send their drivers to face down the weather
in trucks that have names… the sooner the better.
 
But what to call them… officials they ask,
Lucas or Oakley or Spencer or Lance?
Salt Lake wants the public to name their new plow.
So go to the web and make your choice now.
 
Wonderful names are what Utah does best,
and we have the newest snowplows in the west.
Make up your name list from Marvel or Star Wars
And maybe they’ll paint your choice on the doors.
 
What better way to name a new vehicle
than using the web to survey the people.
How ’bout Winter Soldier.. or maybe Black Panther.
Snowbi Wan Kenobi is not a good answer.
 
Or maybe a Utah-type name will bring smiles.
Imagine a snowplow named Ethan or Miles.
Or Aaron or Becket or Dallen might fly.
How bout Jaxyn the plow… spelled with a “y.”
 
All worthy choices, my list is quite long.
But an internet contest? What could go wrong?
No matter your pick… the winner I dread
is Snowy McSnowface, ’cause web gotta web.

Tune to Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News every weekday from 3 to 7 p.m. on KSL NewsRadio to catch Jeff’s “My Minute of News” — and more stories like this one. 

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My Minute of News: A poem for nameless Salt Lake City snowplows